


Secrets

by Ashe21



Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: I hope you still read this, Incoherent, M/M, Secrets, Toothache, Toruka - Freeform, You'll get diabetes, lameTitle, mainlyangst, myfirstAO3fic, oneokrock, repetitive words, super cliche and lame, super fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 11:56:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13570107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashe21/pseuds/Ashe21
Summary: “I..” the vocalist stuttered in nervousness or shyness or whatever the hell he’s feeling whenever Toru-san’s eyes are giving him attention. He loves it when he has his attention, he wants it, always craves for it, but when he finally has it he suddenly feels shy and restless as fuck.





	1. Taka's Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my very first Toruka fanfic here in this site! I'm not really good at writing stuff but I suddenly got an idea when I saw a post on intagram. So...  
> This fic is inspired from a post of a fan on Instagram saying that during a meet and greet, she asked Taka to tell her a secret, then Taka whispered to her _“Sometimes musicians are lonely too.”_
> 
> Disclaimer: One Ok Rock is not mine.

Takahiro Moriuchi doesn’t know how he does it. But for almost his entire life now, he’s been keeping a very BIG secret. 

He stuck the red grip tape to his microphone and started wrapping it around the housing, and as he do so he subtly glanced at his left to take a peek of his life-long love, savior, band leader named Toru. 

Toru was at his usual place on their stage, tuning his precious guitar, oblivious to Taka’s stares, just like how he is oblivious to the vocalist’s life-long feelings for him. Taka sighed. He had developed feelings for their leader years and years ago, maybe it’s because of all the guitarist’s stalking, or because he saved Taka’s life from being a failure, or the way he plays his beloved guitars, or maybe It’s his handsome face that made Taka fall in love with him everyday—he doesn’t know why.. all Taka knows is, this deep feelings of love has been going on for far too long and everyday it’s eating him up and making him feel like a wuss for not confessing all these years. But it’s not like he can. He couldn’t. 

He never told anyone about this. Because he knows the consequences, the risks, the infinite negative possibilities that could/would happen if anybody finds out. So he resigned himself to making subtle glances (like right now), or sometimes making aggressive advances during their live performances in order to let his feelings out and not bottle it up and wait for himself to explode. 

Taka watched as the blonde leader strummed his guitar, making soft, almost inaudible sounds for the electric guitar was not plugged in. 

Taka placed his microphone on the stand and slowly approached Toru. 

_I couldn’t take it anymore.._

“Toru-san..” he called.

_I need to tell you something._

The guitarist whipped his head towards his direction. “Hmm..?” he asked. 

_I need to let you know._

Taka stopped in front of him. Almond shaped eyes looking up at Toru’s lazy ones. 

“I..” the vocalist stuttered in nervousness or shyness or whatever the hell he’s feeling whenever Toru-san’s eyes are giving him attention. He loves it when he has his attention, he wants it, always craves for it, but when he finally has it he suddenly feels shy and restless as fuck. 

“I..” he cleared his throat. He wanted to tell him so bad. He wanted to confess, let out all the burning emotions that he’s feeling for this man, let him know how he feels. 

But he… can’t. 

_I shouldn’t._

“I thought of a new song. Can you help me with the chords?” Taka ended up saying.


	2. Change and Loneliness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: One Ok Rock is not mine.

  
  
Taka tapped his addidas shoes impatiently on the bus floor as he racked his poor brain for a good lyric. He’s currently sitting on their tour bus’ small dining area, with a pen in hand and a blank paper staring up at him, as if mocking him and his sudden writer’s block. He cursed himself for being lame and _chickening out_ at confessing his feelings for Toru-san yesterday. He remembered panicking and telling the taller man that he had an idea for a song and of course the guitarist asked him of his idea, he quickly made up hums and tunes as the leader strummed chords to try if it’ll fit his melodies. Taka was kind of relieved (and proud) that the melodies he quickly made up (in panic) turned out decent. Quite a good melody actually. Because Toru-san liked it, that night the guitarist sent him a record of the whole chord set for that particular song and asked him to write the lyrics for it. 

So today, here he is, trying to come up with a perfect lyrics for this new song. But even though he has been writing songs for so many years now, sometimes (like right now) he’s still experiencing writer’s block. 

A loud thud on the window beside him startled him. He opened it, looked down and found a mop of curly green hair crouching down beside the bus. 

“Tomoya, what are you doing there?” he asked.

The drummer looked up and smiled brightly at him. “Oh, hey Taka-chan!” he beamed. “We’re just playing baseball but Ryota did a bad throw and now the ball is under the bus and I can’t reach it.” The drummer explained, laying his body flat on the ground and extending his hand under the bus. 

Ryota came running to the drummer. “Hey, my throw wasn’t bad! You just didn’t catch it!” The youngest defended, his shirtless body gleaming with sweat.

Taka sighed and dropped his pen on the table. There’s no way he can write any decent lyrics right now. He stood up and abandoned the dining area to look for the object of his chaotic mind. He went to their “bus bedroom” and located the guitarist’s bunk. 

The curtain was closed. 

“Toru-san.” He called. 

Silence. 

Taka kneeled down and slowly slid open the curtain and found the handsome guitarist sleeping, with his phone, a notebook and a paper beside him. He can’t help himself from staring at the leader’s peaceful sleeping face. How he missed sleeping beside the guitarist. Flashbacks of their younger years floated in to the vocalist’s mind. Back then, when he was having nightmares, Toru-san would sleep beside him to ease his worried mind. Even though the lead guitarist never hugged him, just his presence, the feeling of a warm body beside Taka, and his deep caring voice saying “Don’t worry, I’m here.” Makes Taka’s nightmares morph into beautiful, sweet dreams. They were so close back then.

Lately though, a lot of things has changed. From all the hurdles (Alex’s scandal), to the critics (of their evolving music), to the current success of their new album 35xxxv.. Change seems to be happening every week. Even Toru-san has changed. 

It’s like, as their music grows, Toru-san becomes more and more quiet. He’s been looking a little too tired lately. He’d be out late at night drinking with their American friends and spend almost the entire day-off days sleeping his hangover away. Well, it’s not like Taka’s not guilty for drinking and partying all night with their new found friends but.. he’s just getting sad as he realized that him and Toru-san has been slowly growing apart. 

Sometimes, when Taka would catch Toru getting lost in his own world, he would ask him “What’s on your mind?” like the damn Facebook, in hopes to reconnect with the leader just like before. But the guitarist would always say “Nothing.” And before Taka could ask anything more, Toru would hurriedly go away or do something else, as if he’s avoiding getting too close to the vocalist again. 

_Or maybe that’s just my negative imagination..?_

But either way, he feels distant, lately not even just with Toru-san, but also with his other bandmates, Ryota and Tomoya. Because since the production of their newly released album 35xxxv, he had been flying back and forth from LA to Japan, alone. Doing songs, recording, meeting with new producers abroad to widen their band’s connections. Maybe that’s a huge part of the reason why he’s feeling too lonely lately. 

His mind has been too noisy these days. He’s confused, tired and alone. But he doesn’t want to stop. This band is his life and he will do all that he can to achieve what is best. Just like how he’s in love with Toru-san and he cares for him so much that he wants what’s best for him. 

His heart is telling him to _“Fight for what he wants”_ and tell Toru-san his feelings (not just by supplying his chords with confession through lyrics), but to actually tell him, love him openly, be honest with the leader. 

But his mind is telling him that the leader wouldn’t accept it. Or even if he does, Taka doesn’t want Toru to have the same problem as his, he knows the guitarist would be afraid of what others might think, because honestly, he is too. What would become of their band when someone finds out about it? And besides, the vocalist has been keeping this secret to himself for almost their entire career until now, so why would he bother letting anyone know now? Would he dare risk their career just to be with Toru-san? He clenched Toru’s sheets and tightly closed his eyes as unwanted tears trickled down his face. Why does it hurt so bad? Keeping a secret this long hurts so bad.. 

His eyes shot open when a warm hand suddenly enveloped his shaking wrist. 

“What’s wrong?” Toru-san asked, showing a hint of worry with his still half-opened orbs. 

Taka was so surprised that he suddenly stood up and his head banged on Toru’s bunk’s low ceiling with a loud thud. 

“Ouchhh!!” the vocalist cried in pain and nestled his aching head with his free hand. (because his other hand was still tightly gripped by the guitarist). 

To the vocalist’s surprise (again), Toru chuckled with his deep voice and muttered. “You’re so silly, Taka.” Then he let go of the vocalist’s wrist. The guitarist fully opened his curtain, rolled out of his bunk and sat beside the kneeling vocalist. 

“What’s wrong, Taka?” he asked, voice sounding hoarse probably because he just woke up. 

The vocalist seated himself. His head was super painful from hitting the bunk ceiling but at the same time he’s glad that Toru’s asking about him and is looking a little concern. 

“u-uhm.. Nothing really..” he replied, a little bit nervous now that he realized that this is a chance to tell the leader of his.. problems. 

He shifted his gaze to the floor. 

_Should I tell? I shouldn’t. But I want to. But I can’t. I shouldn’t._

His mind debated for a few minutes before Toru spoke again. 

“Nothing?” the guitarist asked. “I woke up because I felt someone was clutching my sheets. Then I opened my eyes and saw you crying. Taka tell me what’s wrong.”

Taka felt embarrassed at that, but his embarrassment was overshadowed by confusion. He looked in the leader’s half lidded orbs. _“Why is he suddenly so concerned about me? Lately he has been avoiding me like a damn plague but now, why?”_

As he looked in Toru’s eyes he saw something familiar. Those worry in his tired eyes made Taka feel.. nostalgic. It’s been a while since he saw Toru worry for him. And just by thinking and remembering how Toru always cared for him throughout the years, even in just small simple ways.. Taka felt something inside of him that sparked. 

“I came up with some lyrics.” The vocalist stated. He fumbled for the notebook and pen that was placed on the guitarist’s bunk bed and vigorously wrote as if he would forget the lyrics if he won’t write it in time. He then handed the notebook to Toru. 

_”Don't wait for your life, for your life_  
_The time is right_  
_Don't wait for your life, for your life_  
_Sometimes gotta try_  
_Gotta fight for what you want_  
_Don't wait for your life for your life”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics are from their song “Jaded” :)


	3. Toru's Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hmm.. Let's see what's on Toru's mind.. XD  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: One Ok Rock is not mine.  
> 

Toru was so surprised that he almost had a heart attack when he opened his eyes and saw a silhouette of a man hovering beside his bunk bed. But before he could even punch whoever is clutching his sheets and almost caused his death, he abruptly realized (thankfully) that it was their vocalist. He was about to ask Taka what kind of joke is he pulling but one look on the vocalist with eyes tightly shut as tears rolled down his face, Toru immediately grabbed the older’s slender wrist and asked him what’s wrong. Taka doesn’t seem to be expecting to wake him because the vocalist jumped in shock and hit his head in the process. Toru couldn’t help himself from chuckling. 

How he missed this small man so much. Lately he had been avoiding Taka because.. well.. he made a rule with himself. It was a long time ago when he realized he has feelings for their vocalist. At first it was hard to accept, because well, he is not a homo. He doesn’t want to accept it. He thought it was just a phase. But as days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to years.. he realized that he has grown to love Taka. 

But as a band leader, it is his duty to protect this band. The band should always come first. And besides, Taka might not be interested like that. I mean, they’ve been super close ever since their teen years so maybe Taka might feel weird if he finds out, right? So he decided not to tell even a single soul about it. But then suddenly he can feel Taka’s subtle glances, and his aggressive advances during their live performances feels so good--giving Toru a light of hope that maybe, just maybe the vocalist feels the same too. 

But no. He can’t have hope because he needs to shut these feelings down. He should focus on being a good leader to their band. So he decided to try avoiding Taka. Besides, they’ve gained a lot of new friends lately so maybe the solution is to just drown all his emotions and feelings in alcohol and maybe one day when he wakes up sober, all those emotions would be erased. _That sounds painful but that’s the right thing to do._ the leader thought. 

But then when he saw Taka in tears beside his bunk bed, all his rules were immediately forgotten for a second. 

He wanted to hug this little man. Caress him, make him feel safe. Apologize for neglecting/avoiding him for a few months now. 

But he can’t. 

_I shouldn’t._

_Rules._ He reminded himself. 

So instead, he let go of the wrist, got out of his bunk bed and sat beside the teary-eyed vocalist. He couldn’t help himself from frowning in worry though. 

_I don’t want to see you crying.._

“What’s wrong, Taka?” He asked, watching how the older tensed when he heard Toru spoke. 

“uhmm.. Nothing really..”

_Please don’t lie to me._

“Nothing?” the guitarist asked. “I woke up because I felt someone was clutching my sheets. Then I opened my eyes and saw you crying. Taka tell me what’s wrong.” Toru can’t help himself from saying. Those words slipped from his tongue and he didn’t have a chance to “filter” it (to his rules’ standards) first. 

Taka then looked him in the eyes and Toru saw confusion written all over the vocalist’s pretty face. Yes. Pretty. Taka is pretty. His almond shaped orbs so innocent, nose perfectly pointed, lips oh so slightly parted as if beckoning the guitarist, tempting him, making him crave for it---but even before he could entertain those “threatening” thoughts that fluttered across his mind, Taka suddenly reached for his notebook and pen (that Toru fell asleep holding) and started scribbling down like a maniac. 

Toru watched him in awe. Remembering one of the reasons why he fell in love with Taka in the first place, and that is his passion for music. Their vocalist is a music genius, he’s not really “skillfully great” at playing instruments but he knows how to use them in songs, his lyrics are inspiring, powerful, meaningful, full of emotions and a lot of the times Toru wished the vocalist wrote it all for him. 

His train of thoughts halted when Taka handed him the notebook. He carefully read the stanza written on it. And as he did, he felt something inside of him, something warm, something nostalgic.. he remembered the times when One Ok Rock was not yet known all over the world.. back when they were just a bunch of rowdy, silly teenagers dreaming, fighting for what they want. 

_“I love you, Taka.”_

Toru almost blurted out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly I don't know where this story is going.. haha XD Feel free to tell me what you guys think! Thank you for the kind comments on the previous chapters, it melts my heart hihi <3


	4. Losing Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Title pretty much says it all. They lost control. XD  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Don't hate me for this chapter  
> 

“T-toru..san?” The vocalist waved a hand in front of the leader, who was still staring at the notebook for a few minutes now. 

Toru seemed to regain himself and gave his attention back to Taka. He wanted to let him know, the lyrics that the vocalist wrote encouraged his coward self to “fight for what he wants”, he wanted to kiss his inviting lips, make the vocalist feel these intense emotions burning inside him that he keeps on fighting/holding back for all these years.. his hands are shaking now.. he slowly reached and gently grabbed Taka’s shoulder. 

The vocalist visibly tensed at that and asked. “T-toru-san? W-what’s wrong? What do you think about the lyrics..?” 

_I love you so much, Taka._

Toru bit his lip to stop himself from spouting out words that (he thinks) he’ll regret saying. He wanted to retract his hand but instead it suddenly had a mind of its own and slowly made its way to gently caress the vocalist’s cheek. “Why were you crying earlier?” the guitarist asked and felt Taka shivered from his touch. 

The leader watched as Taka lightly gasped at his question as if he wasn’t expecting the sudden change of topic. “I-It’s nothing..” the vocalist tried his best to avoid the other’s eyes. But Toru was losing his patience. He doesn’t want any more lies. He couldn’t take all these secrets.. all the alcohol.. all the effort he’s been doing to avoid his fears, he’s tired of running away, so, without thinking about anything but his undying love for the man in front of him, the blonde grabbed the elder’s shoulders and shook him, as if trying to wake him up. “Don’t lie to me, Taka.” He said in almost a whisper, contradicting the harshness of his action. 

Taka winced in pain as Toru’s nails almost dug through his shoulders. “Y-you’re hurting me, Toru-san!” the vocalist cried with his eyes closed, afraid to look in to the guitarist’s angry but pleading orbs. Toru let go of his shoulders and instead cupped his cheeks to force Taka to look at him. 

“Tell me.” Toru insisted. 

But suddenly the guitarist’s hands felt damped. And that’s when he noticed that the tears started trickling down Taka’s cheeks again. 

“I’m sorry, Toru…” Taka murmured, glassy almond eyes shining under the dim, yellow bus lights. “I don’t want to burden you.” 

Toru was taken aback by the vocalist’s words. He definitely didn’t expect that. He never felt that this little man was a burden, ever. So why would Taka think so? His strong hands gently released the older’s damped cheeks. “B-burden?” 

Taka’s tears continuously rolled down his cheeks like waterfalls. He feels exhausted from all this, he feels like he’s about to explode! 

And he did explode. Because before he could even stop himself….. 

“I love you, Toru!” the vocalist blurted out. The words just slipped his tongue. His eyes widened as he heard himself stated those words. And he watched as Toru’s tired, pleading, half-lidded orbs widened in shock too, he even heard the leader gasped. Now Taka felt like crying even more for “messing up” but he couldn’t. He was so surprised that he said that out loud that he was frozen in his spot. Tears stopped rolling, his breathing felt like it halted.. and all he can hear is his heart beating madly in his chest. 

Toru on the other hand couldn’t believe what he just heard. Is it true? He thought. _Did I misheard?_ He’s confused, shocked.. a little bit skeptical.. so many things went on in his mind.. fear of the consequences, One Ok Rock’s future.. but he chose to entertain this warmth bubbling within his chest first. _Taka feels the same..?_ He needs to confirm.. “Y-you..” he couldn’t bring himself to utter the question.

“I’m sorry, Toru-san! I know this is a huge mistake! I know this will affect our band so I tried so hard to stop myself but I just couldn’t! I understand if you’re mad at me.. I promise I’ll try harder to control myself.. I’m sorry for letting you know, I’m sorry for looping you in on this problem.. I just couldn’t take—” Taka exploded, blurted everything that he has been keeping out but before he could even finish..

Toru-san pulled him in to an aggressive, hungry kiss. 

Taka shivered as he felt the guitarist’s skillful hand brushed through his hair and pulled him in to a tight embrace all while nipping, licking and biting his soft lips like Toru-san had been waiting and craving for this his entire life. The vocalist felt like fainting right there but he needs to savor this moment.. this is the moment that he’d been dreaming of! And so he wrapped his arms around the leader’s neck and reciprocated the sweet, loving yet hungry kiss. 

_I love you so much, Toru-san._

_I love you so much, Taka._

There were a thousand voices in Toru’s head, telling him that this is wrong. But he ignored it. He loves Taka and he can’t keep on being a coward wuss by hiding away his feelings just because of all his fears. 

Now that he finally got a taste of their vocalist, he suddenly couldn’t help himself for more. He pushed the vocalist down to lay on the bus floor, Taka felt so soft, so fragile.. he slid his mouth down to the older’s neck, as both their breathing became heavier—oh how sweet this taste, just like in their dreams.. their mind is telling them to stop, but their body tells otherwise because they’ve both been craving this for years.. 

They could stay like this forever.. bodies colliding, mouths dancing with each other..

PSSSHHHHHH!!!

They both jumped and froze on their spot as they heard the bus door open. Foot steps slowly approaching while soft murmurs can be heard a few meters away from the bus bedroom door. As if on adrenaline, Taka and Toru jumped away from each other in time for the bedroom door to open revealing the smiling faces of their bandmates. 

“What’s for dinner?” Tomoya beamed at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAHHHH!!! kissing/make out scenes are sooooo hard to write!! I fucking suck!!!! I don't know how other writers do it!! haha I see them doing it in my mind you know but I can't quite put them in beautiful words huhu haha maybe because i'm not really a writerrrr haha.. anywaaaaayy.. I answered some of your requests and made something happen for the both of them! hehe hope you guys like this pathetic shit huhu.. Thanks for reading and commenting~!


	5. Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Just their evening talk on the streets~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Sorry for another short chapter.  
> Disclaimer: One Ok Rock is not mine.

  
  
Cold breeze greeted Taka as he got off the bus to search for a certain guitarist. He didn’t know it’ll be a little bit chilly tonight so he didn’t bring a jacket, he was wearing only his black tshirt, black jogging pants and addidas shoes.

 

It was around 9pm in the evening when they finished eating dinner, with Tomoya gleefully showering the vocalist with praises such as “Takahiro is such a good cook!” and “The homemade curry was so delicious!” while rubbing his belly, while Ryota washed the dishes (because it’s his turn), and Toru excused himself to smoke.

 

Taka remembered how Ryota asked why the two of them (Taka and Toru) looked like they’ve seen a ghost when him and Tomoya barged in their bedroom. Of course they both denied it and instead explained that they were just in the middle of.. writing a song. The vocalist was kind of relieved that Ryota and Tomoya didn’t suspect a thing. 

 

He walked past a few coffee shops before he saw a familiar figure standing beside a street lamp near a dark alley. 

 

“Toru-san!” he called out as he approached the leader who was currently smoking his second stick. He was also wearing a black tshirt and black jogging pants, they really didn’t mean to but a lot of the times they end up wearing the same clothes. Sometimes he even borrows Toru's clothes because they kind of like the same style. 

 

“Hi.” The guitarist greeted him with a rare, warm smile, and that instantly sent Taka weak in his knees as he blushed like a girl before stopping beside the leader. He hates himself for being such a girl around Toru-san, I mean come on, he commands an entire hundred thousand crowd of people to sing and jump but when it comes to Toru-san he just instantly becomes this fucking shy blushing princess or something. _Seriously though, I need to get my shit together._ Just look at Toru-san! He looks as calm as a monk as if he didn’t just devour the vocalist’s mouth a while ago. Taka felt his blood rushing to his head as he remembered how Toru practically ate him like a man who has starved for a decade, and how he laid on the bus floor, arms tight around Toru’s neck, savoring his smell, his touch.. everything!

 

“How do you think they’ll take it?” the guitarist pulled him out of his trance. Reminding him of one of the reasons why they kept this a secret to themselves for so long. 

 

Taka’s blush instantly faded at that. Now it’s time to face the real issue. How will their bandmates react to it? The four of them have been together for almost more than ten years now. To Taka’s knowledge, this is the first BIGGEST secret he’d ever kept from them. He knows they’ll be understanding.. they are almost like brothers.. they wouldn’t judge.. right? 

 

“I don’t think we need to worry about them.. they’ll understand, right?” The vocalist stated, eyes watching the crescent moon and the twinkling stars above. 

 

The leader puffed out a smoke before throwing the stick on the ground and stepping on it. “You’re right.” He said. “We just have to wait for the right moment.” 

 

Taka silently agreed. He knows that everything will be all right when it comes to the four of them. 

 

“Taka..”

 

The vocalist turned his attention to the leader. 

 

“I’m sorry for being distant the past few months..” Toru uttered, half lidded orbs sincerely staring down at Taka’s wide open ones. The vocalist obviously didn’t expect an apology. And more importantly, he can’t believe that the leader actually admit being distant. 

 

“So you really were avoiding me!” Taka playfully pouted. 

 

Toru chuckled at his playful pout. “That’s why I’m saying sorry, I didn’t know you felt the same. I wouldn’t even know if I didn’t catch you crying while watching me sleep!” 

 

The vocalist madly blushed at that statement. “I wasn’t.. I.. pffft.. Why would I watch you.. psshh” the older tried his best to deny what is true and that made the younger admire this adorable little man beside him even more. Toru reached for the vocalist freezing hand and interlocked it with his own, enveloping it with a satisfying warmth, causing the other to halt his excuses and blush like a damn tomato. “T-toru…” 

 

“I love you too, Taka.” The guitarist fucking finally had the balls to say out loud. (because he didn’t had a chance to say it back when Taka suddenly blurted it out) And he leaned down to steal a quick, sweet kiss to the vocalist’s cheek, which sent all Taka’s blood to come rushing to his face again. 

 

 _Damn, Toru-san is so sweet._ Taka thought. But hey, he could be sweet too. And so, in one swift motion, he tip toed and kissed the younger’s cheek back. Toru-san was startled at that and the vocalist was ecstatic to see the strong leader lightly blushing while smiling. _Ha! Take that, Toru-san! Now we’re both blushing like a damn virgin, nyahaha!_ Taka inwardly snickered.  
  
This definitely turned out to be one of the best nights of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Work killed my brain. It's 12am. Nothing exciting happened in this chapter. I NEED MORE TORUKA FICS TO READ PEOPLE!!! XD


	6. Toru's Daydreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes "mature" content. XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls don't hate me again, I am not good in writing "Toru's daydreams" haha but I still hope you guys enjoy! I literally spent two days thinking how to write this scene and this is how it ended up being. XD 
> 
> Disclaimer: One Ok Rock is not mine.

That fateful evening was the last time that Toru and Taka had alone time together. Suddenly their schedules became hectic. It was as if they were only given one night, like Cinderella, to have a magical evening and when the sun showed itself for a new day, almost everything came back to normal. 

Mornings are for interviews, a lot of the times Taka was the only one to be interviewed, leaving his bandmates to have a little free time for themselves—writing new songs, practicing current songs and such. Afternoons are for rehearsals, evenings are for live performances and after that are for either partying, drinking or hanging out with their American/ European friends while listening to new music and learning more English. 

Toru was glad that the band’s dreams are finally coming true. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe that they created/published an entire album in English and is currently touring it in Europe. They made a lot of new friends and acquaintances, and met a lot of great bands and some of their childhood favorites (namely, Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte, etc). So yeah, he is so glad and grateful that the band’s dreams are finally coming true… but.. what about **HIS** personal dream? 

It's been almost three weeks since that fateful evening and Toru can’t help but miss “his” little vocalist. He always finds himself secretly staring at Taka in the corner of his eyes, may it be during their rehearsals where the vocalist suggests his marvelous ideas about lighting and adlibs on stage.. or during their actual live performance with Taka jumping around in adrenaline, his sweat covered skin shining under the stage lights, voice so powerful as he commands an entire crowd of foreigners, that voice so rough but can smoothly transition from a hard scream to a quiet falceto. His face contorting from a pained expression full of emotions as he sings, to a blissful smile, to a strong challenging one.. and Toru just.. couldn’t help himself from missing—wanting--craving him. 

Yes, sometimes, late at night when everyone is asleep. Toru would silently peek in Taka’s bunk and they would kiss each other good night and it’s taking all of his strength, sanity (and self-discipline) not to devour the little man again, brush his hands in to the vocalist’s fluffy hair, rip his clothes off, taste his body, tightly grip his tattooed wrist.. pin him down, make him flush--- _Darn it._

Toru slapped himself in the face, good thing no one was there to ridicule his psychotic action. (he’s currently alone in their bus living room, while the Taka and the others are in the dining area with their friends, celebrating whoever the hell’s birthday it was.) There’s no sense on thinking about how much he misses his beautiful, hot, innocent Taka because it’ll only drive him even more insane. And so the guitarist grabbed his whale blue PRS electric guitar and started trying to pre-occupy himself with practicing one of their songs. 

He put on his headphones, plugged it in his phone, randomly picked a song that’s lined up for their live and closed his eyes in concentration. The “Deep Deeper” intro blasted through his Sennheiser and his calloused fingertips automatically pushed the strings down to the fret board. 

_“Another step up  
It's takin', takin', takin', takin' long!” _

Taka’s voice oozed from the headphones straight to his ears. Indeed their (I mean his) his vocalist’s voice is so… _Hot._ he supplied his thought. He always admired this rough, hoarse yet soft and smooth timbre. Taka’s voice sounds so wild in this song. Toru can almost imagine the little man jumping and head banging as he sings.. but it’ll be more enjoyable for the guitarist if he would just bang the vocalist instead. The chorus entered and Toru skillfully played the right set of chords as if on default, his palms nestling the neck of his precious guitar comfortably—how exhilarating it would be if it is the vocalist’s neck? He remembered how his lips brushed Taka’s neck during their fateful night.. his flawless skin.. his innocent smell.. how he laid beneath Toru, eyes wide and teary, the guitarist craves for that heavy breathing to turn in to panting.. he wants to rip off the vocalist’s black tank top (the one he usually wears during their lives), he longs to see.. feel Taka’s heated skin rub against his own. 

Toru stuck his tongue out. (just like he always does during their lives) as his mind took him in his daydream, imagining the vocalist’s little frame under his own, dragging his tongue along Taka’s neck.. down to his collar bone.. to his milky white chest.. Oh how good it’ll taste.. then he would unbutton the other’s pants, unzip it.. _Maybe with my mouth.._ pull off his under garments and finally get a hold of that majestic _gear_ \--that’ll drive all Toru’s inhibitions or reservations or whatever away--and do good, bad, dirty (or whatever you want to call it) things with it. 

Toru tightly gripped his guitar as he felt a hard thrust in his pants, _Oh yeah, it’s time._ he screamed in his thoughts as imagined facing Taka’s back, putting his own in the vocalist’s “behind” and---

“The deep deep deeper we go!” 

Taka’s raspy voice continued to blast in his headphones. 

_Oh yeah, deeper.._

_Faster!_

_Harder!!_

_“Dim dim dim the lights low—”_ the music suddenly abandoned his ears as he felt his headphones yanked away from his head. His eyes shot wide open to see the intruder and to his surprise and _maniac_ delight, it was his vocalist. 

Taka was standing in front of him, holding his Sennheiser headphones. “I was knocking and calling you for a whole minute.” He stated as he settled the headphones on the couch Toru was sitting on. “What are you doing here, practicing alone while everyone’s having fun outside?”

Toru can feel his palms’ cold sweat, he settled his PRS on the guitar stand at the corner of the room and walked past the innocent vocalist to shut the “bus living room door” and turned the lock. 

“T-toru..?” 

The guitarist said nothing but instead, without any warning to the little man, he attacked him with rough, hungry kisses, hands travelling everywhere on the vocalist’s body, pushing him to lay on the couch, roughly undressing him…”I missed you, Takahiro..” the guitarist huskily whispered in the older’s ear before going back to licking, biting, nipping~~~~

While Taka didn’t have any time to process what’s going on, the moment he felt Toru’s tongue tasting his skin and as he heard the breathless whisper of the leader, he immediately gave in, letting Toru do anything he wants or longs or craves to do to him.

That moment, while all their friends and band mates are celebrating and having fun just a few meters away from the closed door, Taka finally made Toru’s daydreams come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha as many of you might guess (based from my writing/wording on this chapter) I am not entirely comfortable in writing this kind of stuff. haha because I'm not good at explaining these scenes.. (i do love reading these kind of works tho haha) but I tried my best hehe! Now my brain's dead. haha pls feel free to comment and tell me what you guys think haha. XD


	7. Peaceful Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  A few months have passed~  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Just another short chapter. (this fic is composed of short chapters so far anyway)  
> Sorry for my long absence! I just had weeks of writer's block! huhu..  
> 

  


Band life is so busy that Taka didn’t even noticed that a few months have gone and passed. It only occurred to him when they finally played the last show for their European tour. Everyone was so busy, hyped up and excited. They have a month to go back to Taka’s studio home in LA to take a break and continue writing songs for a new album, before they start the last leg of their 35XXXV tour, the Asia tour. 

They arrived at Taka’s home at around 9am in a Saturday morning. Toru was jet lagged and tired, mostly from being restless and scared the whole flight, _because he’s afraid of travelling through airplanes,_ so the moment they stepped in the house, he went straight to their (his and Taka’s bedroom, _because they always share a bedroom with two separate beds, while Tomoya and Ryota shares another room_ ) bedroom and dropped dead. 

Ryota and Tomoya offered to do the groceries, after an hour they went back to give Taka the groceries and excused themselves again to go exploring. “These guys don’t seem to run out of energy!” The vocalist thought to himself before unpacking the bag of groceries his bandmates bought. 

Judging from all the vegetables, noodles and curry sauce that Ryota and Tomoya bought, Taka immediately got the hint that the two would like either a ramen or curry for lunch, as always. 

He was preparing all the ingredients when the guitarist walked in the kitchen. His blonde locks disarrayed, dark circles under his tired, half lidded eyes and plopped himself in the seat of the dining table. 

“Hey, you.” Taka greeted the guitarist with a wide-teethed smile. “Did you sleep well?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess.. what’s for lunch?” Toru rubbed his tired eyes as he yawned. Taka can’t help but find their leader cute walking in the kitchen with his bed hair, sleepy eyes and asking him what’s for lunch. _”Is this how it’s like when we live-in together someday?”_ the vocalist smiled to himself as he turned the stove on. “We’ll be having curry today.” He replied as he grabbed the chopping board and the knife. _"Woah, wait. Did I just thought about me and Toru living together someday?"_

The leader left his chair and padded towards the little man who was now busy rummaging inside the fridge. Toru lovingly snaked his arms around the vocalist’s waist and rested his chin on the older’s shoulder. “I think, I want steak.” The blonde teasingly said, his deep baritone instantly made Taka’s heart beat faster. 

Sometimes, Taka still couldn’t believe that Toru already knows his secret.. or that they already confessed to each other about their secret-long-undying-mutual love, or that they already tasted and…made…love (I’m so lame, sorry for my lame, cliché terms) with each other for the first time a few months ago in Europe, in their tour bus, during one of their friend’s birthday celebration. 

The vocalist leaned in to the guitarist’s warm embrace. “But Ryota and Tomoya didn’t buy steak.” 

“Hmm..” Toru’s breath tickled the vocalist’s ear. “How about I take you out to a steak dinner later.” 

Taka shivered at that deep husky voice but more importantly, did the guitarist just asked him out to dinner? Taka can’t help himself from smiling as his cheeks started heating up. “O-okay, but I won’t bring my wallet.” He stated with a shy smile and they both laughed at that. 

*

Lunch was relaxing and fun. It has been a while since the four of them sat together to eat in a quiet, spacious home, joking and talking about senseless things, unlike the past few months wherein they sit in a crowded dining area of their tour bus, talking about work or band stuffs, sometimes accompanied by their manager or other friends and staffs. 

“We should visit the docks again tomorrow morning, Ryota.” The drummer happily stated as he stabbed his vegetables with his fork and stuff it in his mouth. “Mori-chan and Toru should come too!” the bassist excitedly replied. “You guys should see the seagulls there, they’re so cute!” He cheerfully added, much like a child who’ve seen a seagull for the first time. 

“That’s a great idea, I think I would like some fresh air tomorrow.” Taka stated happily, a little bit excited as he imagined the bright morning sunshine and the smell of the beach. It has been a while since they last visited the ocean. 

“But don’t forget, tomorrow evening we should start discussing about the few songs we drafted so when Colin arrives on Friday we can tell him our collective ideas..” As usual, Toru reminded them of their responsibilities like a dutiful leader. 

“Hai hai, Leader-sama.” The vocalist agreed. 

“Oh come on, loosen up a little, Toru!” Ryota teased the ever stoic leader. “Friday is 5 days from now, mou!” 

They all laughed at that. 

Seating there in his LA studio home, eating curry with his band mates and his loved one, Taka felt blissful.. peaceful.. contented.. Indeed this band is everything to him. He wouldn’t survive a second without them. Without One Ok Rock, without Toru. 

Speaking of Toru, Taka immediately remembered the guitarist’s gesture of inviting him on a date tonight. He suddenly got excited and nervous at that. This will be their very first dinner date as lovers. Actually, Taka didn’t really expect that Toru would ever invite him on a date, especially a dinner date _in public._ what if someone recognize them? What if someone snaps a picture of them and upload it in social media and ruin One Ok Rock for good?? 

_Woah._

Taka had to mentally stop himself from thinking of the worse. Toru inviting him to a date is a great thing and here he was, already ruining it with his negative, overthinking thoughts. The date hasn’t even happened yet! _"Calm down, Takahiro Moriuchi, for God’s sake!"_ he reprimanded himself. 

_Don’t get too excited. Maybe it’ll be just a normal dinner, just like before._ Toru wouldn’t display his affection for him in public, right? He wouldn’t hold his hand in public. They would just be eating together like normal friends. 

Taka doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing now. It’s supposed to be a good thing (for their band), but why does it send unwanted pain in his heart?

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Stay tuned for the next chapter for their dinner date! :D  
> 


	8. Long but Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  The most boring, cliche date ever written.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Don't expect anything good, you guys.

  
Taka tugged the collar of his black button up jacket and ran a hand through his curly locks as he stared at himself in front of the mirror. “Act normal.” He whispered to himself. After one last glance at his chosen outfit (which was a black metallica t-shirt under his black button up jacket, his black ripped jeans and black addidas rubbershoes) he switched the lights off and head for the stairs. 

“We’ll be going out to dinner tonight.” He heard Toru’s deep voice echoing from the living room downstairs. 

“Ooohh, you and Mori-chan have a date, huh?” He heard Ryota teased. And to the vocalist’s surprise he heard the guitarist replied. “Yes we do.” And he almost tripped and come rolling down the wooden staircase if it wasn’t for his “swift-agile-adrenaline.” Thank heavens he was gifted with swiftness, if this happens to Toru-san he’s sure to come rolling down the staircase like a giant lumber. 

It was very rare for Toru-san to ride on their jokes, usually it was Taka who always jokes about going on a date with the leader. 

Taka heard Ryota gasped. “It’s about time you guys opened up to us.” Tomoya’s cheerful voice suddenly joined the conversation. 

“Open up?” Toru was taken aback by the drummer’s words. He didn’t want to lie to his bandmates so he admitted to be going on a date with the vocalist but he thought (and was also quite sure) that they would shrug it off as a joke (just like always). He didn’t expect to be having a confession about his real relationship with their vocalist. 

“What do you mean by open up, Tomoya?” The vocalist finally reached the living room. 

“We always knew you guys are meant for each other.” The bassist stated like a cupid smiling widely. 

“Yeah, it was a few years ago when we noticed that the two of you are secretly staring at each other. As a drummer, I see almost everything, you know.” Tomoya said like a wise man. 

“S-so, how long have you guys been keeping this from us?!” the leader finally spoke after being shocked for a few seconds. 

“Hey that’s supposed to be our line!” Ryota said like a bullied child. 

“We’re sorry for keeping this from you.” The vocalist spoke in a serious manner, too serious actually that it made the drummer and the bassist laugh out loud. 

“No need for apologies, Taka-chan.” The oldest of them replied after wiping away his tears from laughing too much. “This is a great thing, we all should be happy.” He added.

“Uhn!” the youngest of them nodded in agreement. 

“Ryota and I know that it is not easy. We know the risks.. and the reasons why you kept it a secret. We understand.” The ever wise Tomoya calmly said like a mature adult. (because he is in fact the eldest, mature adult)

Toru _almost_ couldn’t help his large lazy eyes from tearing up because how can he be so lucky to have these people in his life? What rights have he done to deserve such wonderful, understanding bandmates? 

His train of dramatic/blissful thoughts were interrupted when Ryota spoke. “Besides, the most important thing is that you guys are happy, we are all happy.” 

Toru gritted his teeth to prevent himself from actually bawling his eyes out. He knew that letting Ryota and Tomoya know about their secret would be easy, he knew that they would understand, but actually hearing it straight from their mouths still feels so.. warm, fuzzy, tear jerking bliss..

A soft sniffing was suddenly heard and they all turned their attention to their little vocalist, who was now looking down on his shoes, dark locks covering his eyes as tears dripped down his face. 

“Ah! Mori-chan! Are you all right?” The bassist asked in pure concern. 

“Aww, Taka-chan is crying!” The drummer teased.

“Am not!” the vocalist denied and furiously wiped his tear streaked face before smacking Tomoya’s head. The drummer instantly cried in pain. 

That evening, the living room walls echoed with joyful laughter and Tomoya’s pained cries. 

*

*

The steak house was quite fancy. The ceiling was high with chandeliers, the floors were marbled and shiny, tables were clothed in white with a small lighted candle as a centerpiece. 

Taka couldn’t help but fidget in his seat. He’s so nervous, this was definitely a long day, _in a good way_ so many things happened, they just arrived here in LA this morning, he cooked curry for lunch, Toru-san cuddled him in the kitchen and asked him out on a date, then Ryota and Tomoya confessed about knowing their secret for so long.. and now here he is in a steak house with the tall leader sitting in front of him. He’s kind of relieved that they arrived in the restaurant without any complications, nobody seems to notice them, not yet anyway. 

His thoughts halted when the guitarist cleared his throat. “Taka, are you all right?” he asked. “You seem a little tense.” 

“I’m okay.. I’m happy to be here with you.” The vocalist stated shyly. Not wanting to ruin the mood. 

Toru seems to see right through the vocalist, so he reached out to hold the other’s hand in the table. (just like in the movies) Taka was visibly surprised. “I’m happy to be here with you too.” Toru-san stated looking deep into Taka’s own orbs as the leader lightly squeezed his hand. 

“B-but what if.. somebody sees.” Taka said in a soft voice, almost a whisper as he cast a worried glance at his hand in the table that is being clutched by his lover. 

“Hmm…then let them see..” Toru replied. “Maybe I’ll see it later under the hashtag toruka posts on Instagram.” He finished, cheek bones showing up as his smile grew wider. 

Taka gasped at that, “Y-you—” he couldn’t believe it. “You follow the Toruka hashtag?!” The vocalist asked in astonishment, face heating up as he couldn’t help his lips from curving up into a wide smile too.

The tall leader chuckled. “Of course, I do.” 

And from then the tense atmosphere faded away. Taka forgot about his nervousness or the people who could possibly see them. It was as if everyone around them was black and white, while the only ones in color are him and Toru. For a moment they forgot about One Ok Rock. They forgot that Taka was a vocalist and that Toru was a guitarist. They just sat there, eating their steak, enjoying each other’s company, talking about the most random things, getting to know more about each other. (even though they practically know each other to the core now) It’s like they become just normal human beings on a romantic, candle lit date.  
Of course they are forever grateful for One Ok Rock but, this night felt like a nice break from their job, from all the band-image stuff, free from all the hiding, free from all the worries.

When the check came, Toru-san gladly paid, as promised. And Taka couldn't be any happier and relieved because indeed he purposely left his wallet at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Running out of original ideas. Hehe it seems this fic is full of cliches. Anyway I still hope even a single soul enjoys this! XD Thank you for reading~


	9. One Way Ticket Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  How I imagined Taka got the idea about their song One Way Ticket. :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Sorry for being gone for almost a month! Work life is fucking busy but I'm slowly gaining ideas for this fic! hehe hope you guys like this chapter. :3

  
It’s only been a week since they arrived in LA and yet Taka received a message from their manager saying that he needs to get in a plane tomorrow to go to Las Vegas, in order to meet with some producers and do some recordings for a song by another band where he is featured in. It was indeed an honor to be featured in a song especially by an American Band, this will indeed widen One Ok Rock’s connections and audience. 

But today, Taka is not ready to pack up his things and get ready for his flight tomorrow. Not when Toru-san is hugging him like a koala in his bed as he sleeps peacefully, lazy eyes hidden behind the leader’s eyelids, his breathing steady. _Aahh how peaceful this feels._ Taka couldn’t help but savor this moment, the sun light seeping through the open blinds of his room, the peaceful silence, the warmth on Toru’s body enveloping his own. 

To be real honest, he’s not excited to go recording, he’ll be all alone there. Ever since they released 35XXXV, Taka seemed to have been frequently requested by their manager to go someplace alone to do demo vocal recordings for some label. He’s not ecstatic about projects which doesn’t include his bandmates, but still, it is very honorable and it will have a good benefit to One Ok Rock so. 

Taka felt the leader’s hug tightened as his eyes fluttered open. 

“You’re finally awake, sleepy head.” The vocalist stated as he gently stroked the guitarist’s blonde locks. 

The leader sleepily grunted as he tightened his hug on the little vocalist and buried his face on the little man’s chest. “Your thoughts were noisy.” He spoke, voice muffled by Taka’s white shirt. 

_Toru-san can be so clingy sometimes,_ especially when they’re alone, the vocalist thought. Well, it's not actually a bad thing, to be honest Taka really loves it because he's clingy too. But anyway, did Toru-san just said that his thoughts were noisy?!

“What do you mean my thoughts were noisy?!” he asked. 

“I can hear you thinking while I was sleeping.” Toru answered. The vocalist looked at the guitarist who currently had his face buried in Taka’s shirt, searching for any signs of joking. 

“Hmm.. so if you can hear me thinking, then tell me, what was I thinking a while ago?” Taka asked challengingly. 

Toru chuckled before letting go of the little vocalist’s body to stretch his limbs and sit up. “You were thinking about missing me when you go to Las Vegas.” 

Taka was surprised, he couldn’t help himself to smile. He wrapped his arm around the nape of the leader to pull him close and placed a soft kiss on the guitarist’s cheek. 

“You know me very well.” He whispered to Toru’s ear. 

*

*

Taka tossed his jacket on the small couch and plopped himself on his hotel bed. He just finished the first day of recording in Las Vegas. It was a little bit tough. The people there were nice but Taka felt like an outsider. _Obviously_ because he’s the only Japanese guy there. The producer also kept reprimanding him of his pronunciation of English lyrics. He’s used to not be too self-conscious about pronouncing English clearly from time to time, because fans know and understand that they are Japanese, mistaking his R’s for L’s is his trade mark in singing English. But he has to remember that this time he’s not recording a One Ok Rock song, but an American band’s song. So, he has to understand and respect their opinions and if they ask him to correct his accent, he should. Even if he has to sing a single background vocal line again and again and repeat the same verse for the whole session. He has to be professional. (not that he isn't) He's doing this for One Ok Rock, for them to be discovered by other artist's fan base. He's One Ok Rock's front man, right now, their representative, so he shouldn't let them down. 

It was one hell of a day. He’s tired, lowkey jet lagged, homesick and lonely.

_I wish Toru-san was here._

Wherever they were, whatever they’re doing.. Just being with Toru-san always made him feel better. 

It was just yesterday when he last saw Toru and yet he’d been missing him all day. _As usual._ He’s always like this when he goes somewhere without him. 

_Hmm.. I wonder what he’s doing now?_

The vocalist fished out his cellphone from his pocket and immediately browsed his gallery to look at some saved pictures of the two of them. The guitarist looked so handsome while Taka looked so tiny/short beside him. _Damn Toru-san and his gigantic height that makes me look so puny._ But instead of detesting the leader's height, the vocalist couldn’t help but notice how good they look together. His cheeks slightly turned crimson when he realized that they look perfect beside each other, their heights perfectly contrasted each other, their outfits matched.. they look like a married couple for years! 

He exited his gallery and opened his Instagram app. He browsed through the #toruka posts. _Toru-san is not the only one following this tag._ He smiled to himself as he saw multiple cropped pictured of himself and Toru-san, some are badly edited while others were so good that he almost believed it was real, except he knows it isn’t because he’s actually there when the picture was taken so he knows the originals. Some fan arts made him flushed (for seeing himself as a drawn half naked character kissing a drawn, also half naked Toru-san) while others left him in awe at how good it were created. Browsing through this tag always makes him in a good mood. It’s nice to know that even though their relationship cannot be known, and that some people can or will not be able to accept it, there are still others who understand and even _want_ them to be together. 

His thoughts were halted when he felt his phone vibrated in his hand at the same time a notification popped up on top of his screen. And to his surprise and delight, it was a Line message from none other than his handsome guitarist. 

_“I hope u had a great recording today. I’ve been thinking about u all day.”_

Taka blushed as he read the other’s message and immediately typed in a reply.

 _”I missed u too.”_ he sent.

A few seconds later, Taka received another reply. 

_“Tomo & Ryota ate the strawberry cake in the fridge.” _

The vocalist couldn’t help himself from laughing quietly. _Those idiots! That cake was mine!_ he thought as he typed in his reply. 

_”Tell them to buy me a new one!”_

After a few seconds again, Toru-san sent a reply.

_”Hey Taka..”_

.  
.  
.  
.

_”Yeah..?”_

.  
.  
.  
.

_”Don’t get too lonely in there, you’ll be home in 2 days.”_

Sometimes Taka thinks that Toru-san might be psychic or something. He never told anyone that he’s lonely whenever he’s going off to other places alone for recordings. And yet, Toru-san knew. _He really does know me very well.._ Reading what Toru-san said made him remember that he will be home after 2 days. That thought made him feel so much better. 

_”I love you, Toru.”_ Right after he sent the message he was suddenly hit by an idea for a song. He hurriedly typed in the lyrics forming in his mind. 

_“In this empty bed, where I’m all alone, I’ve been such a mess_  
_Anywhere you are is where I want to go, you are my address_  
_I don’t care how I get it, I need a One Way Ticket home.”_  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
>  If you guys don't know Line, it is legit a very famous app in Japan, I know some japanese people and they told me they mostly use that app instead of Facebook. ~share  
> Anyway, Thank you for reading! The lyrics at the very end are obviously from their song One Way Ticket. :3


	10. Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Taka ran into his childhood friend.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Thank you for those who left kudos for the past few days/weeks even though I haven't updated this shit in forever. haha anyway Happy Birthday to our beloved Taka!!!!!!  
> 

  
Taka slumped on one of the airport chairs and fished out his phone. It was an early Tuesday morning, he just got off his flight and was kind of glad that he’s finally home. It’s weird calling LA his home but the truth is, he’s becoming quite comfortable here. He opened a Line message from Toru-san. 

_“I’ll be there in 30 minutes. Can’t wait to see you.”_ was the leader’s short but sweet reply to his message telling the younger that he just landed. Taka told the guitarist that he could just Uber home but Toru insisted on picking him up. 

The vocalist was kind of glad that no one seems to notice him as he casually sits on the airport chairs. He’s wearing a hat and sunglasses but that barely counts as a disguise. (And it’s not like he’s wearing a disguise, he just likes to wear hats and sunglasses.) Well, it is LA anyway, it’s very rare to be hounded by One Ok Rock fans. 

“Takahiro?” 

A familiar voice called him from behind. “I’m not mistaken, it’s you, right?” 

Taka turned to see who recognized him from the back and was surprised to see his childhood friend. “K-Kazuto?” 

But even before Taka could take a good look at his friend’s face, Kazuto was already wrapping his arms around him as he hugs him tightly. “It’s good to see you out here, Taka!” he said. 

Taka was caught off guard, he didn’t expect a hug but he really haven’t seen Kazuto in a while so he returned the hug and patted his friend on the back. “Hey, man. How’ve you been?” he asked. 

Kazuto let go from their bro hug and adjusted his backpack. “I’m great, I’m here for a few weeks visiting my uncle.” 

It was so nostalgic for Taka to see his childhood friend out here. He stood out with his little eyes and black hair under that dark blue bonnet. “I heard you’ve been taking over the rock music industry.” Kazuto stated as he fumbles something on his pockets. 

Taka gave a quick, shy chuckle. “No, not really. We’re just touring..” he humbly replied. It was more than 5 years ago since he last hung out with Kazuto. He remembered asking him of his opinions about the songs he’s writing. They used to be close. But then they slowly lost contact with each other when the tours started. Kazuto is not really fond of social media so he doesn’t have Instagram or facebook or something. Taka wondered if his friend has a Line though, he probably does. Almost everyone has one right? But the vocalist never really bothered to search for his friend’s account. But it’s not like he doesn’t want to or that he doesn’t care. He does care. It’s just.. Taka’s brows furrowed as he questioned himself. _Why didn’t I try to contact Kazuto for a while now?_

Kazuto gleefully smiled as he watched the vocalist. “You haven’t changed a bit, Taka!” He then handed Taka his phone. “I have to go now but, let’s exchange numbers.” 

Taka reached for his own phone and exchanged it with Kazuto’s. They tapped in their numbers on each other’s phone. 

“We have a lot to catch up on.” Kazuto was saying as he was typing in his number on Taka’s phone. But then the phone vibrated and the message notification appeared at the top of the screen. 

“Oh hey, sorry, you have a message.” Kazuto handed the vocalist’s iphone back. 

Taka also gave back Kazuto’s phone then he checked his phone for the message which was from Toru-san.

 _”I’m here. I’m at the west wing exit.”_

“Was that Toru-san? Your guitarist, right?” Kazuto suddenly asked. Taka quickly (too quickly) looked up from his phone. Why did he have this feeling of slight panic when he heard of his friend’s question? _"Good thing Toru-san’s message did not contain an I love you or something."_ The little vocalist thought. 

Woah. 

Wait. 

Did he just said that? 

Kazuto probably saw his furrowed brows and confused expression and so his smile was immediately wiped out of his face as he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, my eyes couldn’t help but read the notification.” He sincerely said. "Habit, I guess." 

Taka felt guilty. Was he that transparent? “N-no. It’s okay, man. No worries. No need to be so serious about it haha.” The vocalist tried his best to hide his nervousness with a chuckle. _Why am I nervous? I shouldn’t be nervous._

He just didn’t want his friend to know that him and Toru-san are.. _lovers._

That thought changed his mood. He’s been avoiding thinking about this ever since the guitarist and him started this intimate relationship between them. It’s hard to keep this, to lie about this. And it also doesn’t feel right that Taka’s feeling nervous whenever somebody asks him about their leader. It’s making him feel paranoid and he keeps having a negative feeling towards their relationship. He doesn’t want that. He knows that they already have this understanding that this is going to be their situation because they chose this, they chose to hide their relationship. (only Tomoya and Ryota could know and nobody else) 

Kazuto must have felt the sudden shift in Taka’s mood even though the vocalist already reassured him that it’s all right. And so he thought maybe it’s finally time to take off. “Ahm.. well, it was nice seeing you again, Taka. I hope we can hang out soon.” He gave the vocalist a pat on the shoulder before walking ahead towards the exit. 

Taka didn’t got the chance to bid his friend good bye. He just watched him walk away. 

He hates himself for thinking and getting affected by such negative things. But he just couldn’t help it. So before he could even be eaten by his dark negative thoughts he hurriedly went to the west wing’s exit to finally be with his beloved who’s patiently waiting for him outside. 

*

*

Taka gently closed the car door (because he knows Toru gets mad when he slam it shut) and faced his leader who was sitting on the driver’s seat looking all cool and handsome. 

“Thanks for picking me—” 

But Taka was not able to finish what he’s saying because Toru grabbed him by the collar of his denim jacket to lock his lips on the vocalist’s own. Earning an “Uhmph!” from the older. Gosh Toru-san can be so aggressive sometimes. He’s even using his “muscle strength” and their obvious body size difference to just grab him like a rag doll and mercilessly smooch his dry, chapped lips. _”Because I still haven’t had a drink since I landed! I’m thirsty damn it!”_

After 8 seconds of lip locking. Taka pulled away. “Can’t you wait before I finish my sentence?” He teasingly asked and licked his lips. Damn it Toru-san’s kiss made him even more thirsty. 

“Can’t. I missed you too much.” Toru-san stated with his deep monotonous voice as he started the engine. “What took you so long to get here?” the guitarist asked as he started to drive. 

“I ran in to Kazuto.” Taka stated as he put on his seat belt. 

“Oh, I barely remember that guy. Your childhood friend, right?” 

“Yeah, I’m surprised you even remember him, you only met him once.” 

Toru let out a soft chuckle. “Of course, I remember thinking that guy clings to you too much back on those days.” 

The vocalist whipped his head to the leader’s direction. “Don’t tell me you got jealous of him?” 

The leader’s lips curved down into a frown as he tried to mask away the fact that he indeed got jealous of that guy years and years ago, back when he was just secretly crushing on his beloved vocalist. “No, I didn’t.” 

But ofcourse Taka saw through it all. “You totally did, didn’t you?” Taka couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh Toru-san. There’s nothing to worry about!” 

Toru kept his eye on the road as he said. “I know. I’m not worried about anything.” 

The car came to a slow halt as the stop light turned red. Toru took that chance to reach for the vocalist’s nape and pull him (as close as possible with their seatbelts fastened) to another kiss. 

Taka was surprised because why is Toru-san so.. showy and affectionate today? I mean.. Taka knows that Toru-san missed him so much (because he missed Toru so much too) and he knows that Toru-san is very sweet and clingy when the two of them are alone but.. he’s surprised that the leader can’t seem to wait till they get home before "letting him feel how much he missed Taka." Nonetheless the vocalist still happily reciprocated the passionate kiss his lover gave him. 

They pulled away just when the light turned green and Toru-san was swiftly back to driving mode. They remained silent for a few seconds before Taka spoke. “How’s everything at home?” 

They passed by a few juice shops and the vocalist debated on whether he would ask his lover to stop so he could buy a drink but he decided against it since he feels a bit lazy so he’ll just wait till they reach home to drink something. 

“It’s fine. Colin and the others arrived last Friday. We’ve been working on ‘We Are’.” The guitarist replied.

Oh that’s right. He almost forgot. The producers arrived, Taka thought. Maybe that’s the reason why Toru-san’s been kissing him here in the car, because they wouldn’t be able to do it at home. 

There it is again. That same problem he encountered a few minutes ago at the airport. 

_Don’t think about it, Takahiro. Don’t you dare ruin your day with this problem!_ Taka thought to himself. It’s not even a problem. Toru-san looks like he doesn’t really see this as a problem. So Taka shouldn’t either, right? _”This shouldn’t bother me, especially because it doesn’t seem to bother Toru-san.”_

“Hey, you all right?” The guitarist asked Taka as he observed him from the corner of his eye. 

Taka turned his attention to the window beside him. “I’m all right.” He _lied._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Anybody know that Kazuto guy? I used to see him with Taka a lot last year. (based from Taka's instagram posts) That guy was not tagged when Taka posted their pics so I assume he doesn't have an instagram account. Anyway all I know is his name is Kazuto hahaha so on the next upcoming chapters let's pretend his full name is Kazuto Ryouga, Taka's childhood friend, okay? hehehe 
> 
> Please tell me what you tihnk and Thank you for reading~!


	11. He's Only Human.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  ~2 months after Toru picked Taka up from the airport hehe~  
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  First of all, I want to say I'M DEEPLY SORRY FOR ABANDONING THIS FIC FOR A FEW MONTHS! I just suddenly ran out of ideas and felt very unmotivated to continue this especially since both Taka and Toru WERE rumored to have bitches-I mean girlfriends. haha But now the rumors has slowly died down, and I got a few kudos the past few months from anonymous readers even though I haven't updated this so that really inspired me and got me writing again. so.. THANK YOU GUYS! And thank you also to Nightmare_Taichou for mentioning this and inspiring me to continue this and giving me a few ideas on what to do next on this fic. (And also to others who were so kind and helpful to me and always inspiring me in their own little ways) <3 Anyway, sorry for this long intro.. on to this chapter~~!  
> 

  
“..Then it goes like.. tu-ru-ru-ru-ru..tu-ru-ru-ru…” Taka confidently demonstrated the tune that’s been on his mind ever since they started working on this new track. 

“And I think it must be in a slower tempo.. you know..” Taka continued as he messily strummed his acoustic guitar and repeatedly hummed the tune. 

Colin grabbed the electric guitar. “Oh I get it, maybe like a classic 8 bars for a set of verse?” he said as he made up a few adlibs on his electric. 

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Taka happily agreed, continuously strumming his acoustic guitar that looks much bigger compared to himself. 

Toru watched them in the sidelines, silently joining their little jam. He also thought of an adlib that would fit Taka’s rhythm but maybe he’ll suggest it later. Because he’s too lazy to piece together any English vocabulary that could explain to Colin the idea that he just thought of. 

And besides, he couldn’t be bothered to stop himself from looking.. observing.. _ogling_ his little vocalist. He missed hugging that little body, enveloping it in a tight, warm embrace. He missed kissing those lips which hides those perfectly lined, white teeth and that delicious, agile tongue. He missed the feeling of the vocalist’s fluffy hair on his fingers. He missed the way Taka moans when Toru aggressively kisses him, or the way he tightens his grip on Toru whenever he kissed him on his _sweet spots_ such as his neck. Or simply the way their hands perfectly fit with each other. 

Toru sighed. The last time they kissed was when he picked Taka up from the airport and that was 2 months ago. Ever since that day, they were forced to restrain themselves and stop whatever they were doing/feeling—or at least, temporarily halt their _”romance”_ and start switching back to work mode. The producer, Colin Brittain and a bunch of other guys came over and they’ve been staying with the band in order to create new songs, or at least create enough skeletons of songs that they could work with once One Ok Rock goes back to touring their album 35 in Asia. 

Which reminds Toru.. only 2 weeks left before they return to their tour bus, fly from country to country, perform night after night.. so he needs to focus, get his body—especially his mind ready. He’s been thinking about Taka too much these days.. It’s not really a bad thing but.. _But what…?_ He doesn’t want to think that Taka is a distraction from his work.. because distraction is _negative._ And Taka is not negative. He is the most positive thing that ever happened to Toru ever since he first saw/met him. But he’s been missing him.. Toru’s missing him _too much_ lately that he’s not being able to put all his focus and attention to the new songs they’ve been doing. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and irritation as he realized this feeling.. this feeling of being stressed out. He’s stressed because it’s taking all of his effort to stop himself from.. from kissing Taka, from holding him… it’s taking all of his effort to stop himself from.. _being myself._ he supplied his own thoughts. 

It irritates him how they should keep this relationship thing a secret. He knows and understand why, he’s the one who decided this, him and Taka, they both agreed. And it’s not like he wants to publicly display their relationship and affection. He’s still a professional, you know. And he’s damn ecstatic about the new songs they’re working on too (so it’s not like he doesn’t want to focus on work).. he’s just.. He just wants to hold the other’s hand sometimes, maybe the main thing that’s irritating him is that for the past 2 months, he haven’t had any alone time with his beloved vocalist because they’ve been working on songs with Colin 24/7. It is odd for him to be this irritated over such a thing.. he’s usually more mature than this.. he’s a full grown 27 year old man for God’s sake. But maybe this is what “restraining one’s feelings” does to a person. Toru might look like the mighty cool leader that he is on the outside but on the inside, he’s always having these episodes in his head. He is only human after all. 

And so, he stood up from his comfy seat and went out to the balcony to smoke in broad daylight. It seems the only thing keeping his sanity intact lately were his Marlboro Reds.

*

*

“Toru-san.” Taka stepped out to the balcony and slid the door shut as he made his way to the guitarist who was silently smoking his stick. “Are you alright?” he asked. 

Toru visibly tensed when the vocalist was a few inches away from him. These days he’d been keeping his distance to Taka because he’s been feeling like he wouldn’t be able to control himself when the vocalist is near, he might suddenly attack his neck and leave a mark in there or something. _”Toru you horny fucker.”_ he thought to himself. And so he took a few steps back before answering. “I’m fine.” 

Taka looked slightly confused when he noticed how Toru-san backed away from him. “What’s wrong? You’re acting strange.” He commented. 

_I miss you._ Toru wanted to say. But why can’t he? What’s wrong with him indeed? He wanted to explain to the vocalist everything that he’s been feeling the past few days. But if he did, what will Taka say? They both agreed to this kind of relationship.

And besides it’s not the time for this, they’re in the middle of making songs for their next album. So he’s in the wrong for thinking about this instead of putting all his energy in making songs. Just look at Taka. He was so busy and so focused on making songs the past 2 months, he doesn’t look like he missed Toru at all. Well, that left a bitter trail on the leader’s mind.

“Toru-san?” 

The guitarist’s train of thoughts were interrupted when Taka’s worried voice called out to him. 

“Toru-san, talk to me.” Taka said, his almond shaped orbs showing concern. He wanted so much to reach up and caress that manly face, feel the warmth in Toru-san’s cheeks, kiss that frown away from that beautifully curved lips, but he couldn’t. Because the glass door of the balcony is see through, the others might see them. And so he reluctantly stood by with hands shoved in his pockets (so it won’t suddenly pull the taller man into a smooch) and continued on staring deep into the leader’s lazy eyes in hopes that Toru-san could see how he misses him so much and how he’s starving for his cuddles. 

“I’m going to buy some more cigarettes.” The gachapin look alike ignored the little man’s _worried puppy eyes_ and head for the door. 

Taka was left shocked and confused. Is Toru-san mad at him? What did he do? 

He hurriedly went inside to go after him. 

“Toru-san!” He called out. But just as he stepped inside, Colin called to him. 

“Taka! Check this out, I think I figured out a good tune for the verse.” The producer said. 

“E-uhm…” Taka couldn’t do anything but stare at the back of the guitarist as he made his way to the front door. 

_”Whatever it is, I’m sorry, Toru-san.”_

He silently thought as he _faked_ a smile and sat down beside the curly haired producer. 

Toru-san didn’t even looked back..  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Thank you guys for reading~! Don't they sound like 15 year olds in this chapter? haha sorry for that. Please tell me what you think! hihi <3  
> 


	12. Rendezvous Part I: City Night Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  This chapter turned out quite longer than the other chapters on this fic so I decided to split it into two parts hehe. Hope you guys like it! :'3  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Warning: Some scenes are not suitable for young readers. (if there are haha) It's not too graphic but.. not so innocent as well haha. Also, warning this chapter contains lots of cheezy fluff and lame cliche fluffy shits that'll probably make your teeth ache! Oh well, this whole fic is a huge teeth rotting candy, I should've written this warning since the very first chapter! nyahha  
> 

  
The sky was already dark outside when Taka and Colin finished recording a decent “skeleton track” for the idea that Taka had presented earlier that day. 

It wasn’t easy deciding on melodies and tunes and on which part of the song it’s supposed to fit. Especially when Toru-san was missing in action the whole time. Taka couldn’t help himself from being distracted, subtly glancing at the wall clock, wondering what the hell is taking Toru-san too long from buying his cigars, _”I mean where could he be? Is he really mad at me? What did I do?”_ Taka silently thought to himself as he fidgeted in his seat while absent mindedly watching Colin do his magic with his digital audio workstation, or as they call it, DAW, as he pieced together the body and emotion of the song in order to present it to the whole band later for further discussion. 

He needs to see Toru-san, he needs to talk to him. Clear things out, find out what’s wrong. And so with a determined mind and an anxious heart, he stood up from his seat and head out of the studio room.

He climbed up the stairs to find Ryota and Tomoya chilling in the living room. How he envy these two for being able to just chill and speak in Japanese most of the time, while Taka deals with all the talking to the producers and all the explaining and all the confusing _backward grammar_ of the English language. He doesn’t really blame them or anything, _He loves them more than anything in this world, come on._ But sometimes he’s jealous of them. Years of dealing with the responsibilities of a front man made him realize how much he love this band, how much he owes all his life to this band, to all the fans all over the world, to Tomoya, to Ryota, most specially to Toru-san, and he loves it all. The power, the leadership, the chances that he has, the opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life, he’s never been more thankful, but everything comes with a price. And handling all the hard stuff is one of the prices that he has to pay in order to do these things. 

“Ah! Mori-chan!” Ryota was the first to notice him. “How was the brain storming going?” the bassist asked him. 

“It’s fine, you guys will have to state your own ideas later to Colin, okay? So be ready.” The vocalist stated with glassy eyes and hushed voice as he quickly made his way towards the exit. The two instantly noticed his mood and his glassy almond orbs. They exchanged glances at each other before standing up at their feet.

“Ah, wait!” Tomoya called out to the little vocalist. “Where are you going, Taka-chan?” the ever energetic drummer jogged his way to the little man.

“I’m going to look for Toru-san, didn’t you guys even noticed that he’s gone the whole day!” Taka declared, angry more at himself than at anyone, with his voice slightly quivering in worry.. or possibly from exhaustion from all the recordings and singing melodies for the demos. 

Ryota was quickly on the vocalist’s side as well. “But Mori-chan, we saw Toru took his car.” The bassist innocently said, “So he’s probably off to his favorite hiding place.” 

Taka was like suddenly hit with this slight relief, knowing that he has an idea on where to find his beloved. “Besides, I think Toru misses you so bad, Mori-chan.” The bassist whispered. “So he’s probably in _that place_ sulking his gachapin self off.” Ryota added with a quick laugh as he hand gestured air quotes when he mentioned _”that place.”_

“Don’t worry, Taka-chan. Come on, I’ll drive you.” Tomoya said as he put a hand on Taka’s shoulder. And the vocalist felt nothing more but blessed to have such caring, loving and very supportive band mates, friends or brothers for life. 

*

The drive was spent in comfortable silence as the reliable drummer expertly maneuvered the steering wheel as they sped past the familiar streets of LA, shifting gears from time to time when reaching a few stop lights and pedestrians-- _”Tomoya, you show off!”_ Taka thought to himself as he watched the drummer from his peripheral vision. He remembered how he was nagging Tomoya to teach him how to drive this car because he wanted to drive a stick, but he got mad at the poor drummer because he kept turning him down because he’s afraid that his car would meet the same fate as Toru-san’s _previous_ Honda, which was crashed by (none other than Taka himself)-- _”I didn’t mean to, Mou!!!”_ \--on an innocent wall at a _thankfully_ empty parking lot. 

Taka remembered how he saw Toru-san’s eyes got all glassy, and his gachapin eyes grew almost as big as a coffee mug (exaggerating but close to reality) But despite everything, Toru-san didn’t get mad at him. He didn’t yell at him, he just asked him if he was okay, (luckily the crash wasn’t so intense because the air bag thingy didn’t popped), he stepped out of the car, inspected the damage, called someone to tow it away and they walked home in silence. Taka felt super guilty back then. He knows that Toru-san was so mad, _Because he gets mad at me when I simply slam his car doors shut!_ But he chose not to get mad at Taka because he’s being sensitive to his feelings. He remembered wanting to say sorry but he never got the chance to.  
His flashbacks were interrupted when he felt the car slowly came to a stop. 

“We’re here, Taka-chan.” The drummer stated and smiled at him, his smile looking brighter than the moon above them as he pressed the button to unlock the doors. 

The vocalist stepped out of the car and was instantly hit by the cold evening breeze and the smell of the earth and grass. 

Indeed, a few meters away was Toru-san’s Sedan, parked facing the edge of a cliff, overlooking the LA night lights.

Tomoya pulled his windows down. “Take your time, ne? Ryota and I will take care of the demos for tonight.” 

Taka felt so touched. “Thanks, Tomoya.” Now he’s feeling guilty for all the years of bullying he did to this kind soul. 

He watched as Tomoya released the hand break, gave him one last thumbs up while saying “You owe Ryota and I a treat to the new steak house downtown!” Before laughing like a hyena as he quickly drove away. 

“Wha-“ Taka was left shocked as he watched the drummer drove away, his tires leaving a trail on the earth and a smoke of dust. 

But instead of getting mad at Tomoya, he chuckled and made a mental note to give Tomoya a good beating later when he get home. “Those idiots.” He mumbled to himself as he turned around and made his way to his beloved’s car. 

*

Taka can hear a faint sound of music coming from the car as he slowly approached Toru’s Sedan. He was growing nervous as he comes closer because he didn’t know what to say to the leader. He didn’t know why Toru-san got mad.. _”..I think Toru missed you so bad, Mori-chan..”_ the bassist words echoed in his mind. 

He was surprised to see the leader’s window rolled down, he peaked in the driver’s seat and found his beloved with his eyes calmly shut into a peaceful slumber, his ipad resting on a stand by the dashboard, playing a random video of a guitar tutorial. _”This idiot! Sleeping like this in his car!”_ He thought to himself.

He carefully crossed his arm in the window frame to stare at the guitarist’s innocent, sleeping form. He gulped at how handsome his beloved is. Those lazy eyes hidden under his eyelids, his breathing steady and relaxed, his lips slightly curved down into a beautiful but manly frown. He couldn’t help himself…. He carefully reached for the leader’s jawline, as he leaned in, putting his head through the open window frame to gently place a soft, chaste kiss on the leader’s lips. 

He closed his eyes as his own lips landed on Toru-san’s closed mouth. Oh how he missed this delicious mouth, Toru-san’s smell, Toru-san’s heat.. He slowly pulled away leaving a few inches of space between their faces as he lovingly stared at him. 

A few seconds later Toru’s eyes shot open, Taka was so startled that he jumped up only to hit his head on the car roof while Toru (who woke up all of a sudden) was so surprised and as adrenaline rushed to him, he quickly (in an out-of-character-panicky manner) pulled the lever under his seat and pushed himself backwards to reclined his chair and get away from whoever was breathing 2 inches from his face. 

Taka felt his head hurt but at the same time, he felt like this is one hell of a déjà vu from back when he was wanting to confess his feelings for Toru-san on their Tour bus. This hurts less though, because the car roof was at least covered with a thin line of cushion compared to the hard steel on Toru-san’s bunk. 

Toru, who was lying flat on his back on the reclined driver’s seat was now slowly gaining full consciousness, his heart was still madly beating from the shock and _fear_ that he felt when he first opened his eyes with a silhouette of man in front of him. “T-taka..?” He said as he slowly sit up while adjusting his chair in its original position. 

Taka’s head was now back outside the car as he rubbed his aching skull, but his shoulders were slightly shaking as he tried but failed to prevent himself from bursting into a loud laughter. 

Toru knows that Taka’s laughing at him. He knows he made a fool of himself a while ago _”Because I just woke up and I don’t know what’s happening, get off my back will ‘ya?”_ he thought but he couldn’t care less right now. He stepped out of his car and stalked towards the vocalist who was clutching his stomach from his uncontrollable laughter. “Y-you should have.. seen.. your…face..hahaha!” Taka was saying while laughing, white teeth showing, gums peeking out, Taka looked so much younger when he laughs in pure joy. 

Without any warning or any word. Toru reached out and encased the little man into a warm and tight embrace, making the vocalist halt his laughing fits. “I’m glad you came.” Toru-san whispered in his ear and it sent shivers down Taka’s spine, the way the taller man’s arms wrapped around his smaller form, how he fits inside Toru-san’s embrace, how he feels so secured, so safe right here, right now. How despite the cold evening, he feels warm. He quickly returned the tight hug, his arms wormed their way out of the guitarist’s hug and snaked themselves on to Toru-san’s nape. “I was worried, you idiot.” He said in a soft voice. 

This moment felt so perfect, if only they could hug each other like this forever, with only the moon watching them, stars hidden behind dust of clouds, below the cliff near Toru-san’s parking were the LA city lights, and all around them the trees swayed in the gentle breeze, as if celebrating their union. 

Toru’s lips instantly found itself to Taka’s own chapped ones. As if they haven’t kissed each other in a million years, their mouths danced together in a beautiful rhythm, licking each other’s dry lips. 

Toru led them to his car, halting their smooch only to open the door as he sat down the driver seat, while he led Taka to his lap, Taka took a seat on his lap, facing him. Good thing the vocalist was tiny because they wouldn’t fit here on this position.  
Toru-san pulled the lever under his seat (again) as he pulled Taka close to him and they both gently fell on the reclined driver seat. “Well, well, if you could’ve just done this a while ago with that sexy expression on your face then I wouldn’t have laughed my ass off a while ago.” Taka stated, impressed. 

“Shut up.” Toru answered and aggressively pulled Taka closer to kiss him. The vocalist happily let himself fall onto the leader’s embrace and continued on eating him away like a starving man. 

Toru-san found his way to the vocalist’s neck, kissing and licking it, all while his hands travelled on the vocalist’s hair and back. Taka couldn’t help but close his eyes and release a moan.. Toru-san just knows how to touch him, he knows how to get him---make him—lose his damn mind.. he knows how to make him forget that they’re inside a car, makes him forget everything but the feeling of longing, craving for the guitarist’s touches, for the guitarist’s mouth and tongue all over his body. 

He didn’t know how they did it but Toru-san slowly switched their positions, _”Just when I thought I’d be top..”_ Taka thought but oh well, he’ll have his day. Right now, Toru-san looked so damn hot and hungry, he looked so desperate to kiss and touch the vocalist that Taka can’t help but feel more aroused. 

_This is perfect.._

_Toru-san you’re perfect._

_I love you, Toru-san._

Taka was getting high from all the kisses, all the heat inside this car, he let Toru-san strip him of his black metallica shirt, and he did the same for the leader, stripping him of his plain black shirt, tossing it at the backseat. 

Toru stared down at him lovingly, like he was the most beautiful thing ever existed in the whole world and he couldn’t help himself from blushing, his cheeks heating up. “Toru-san…” he shyly muttered under his breath. The leader lovingly interlocked their fingers as Taka turned around, lying on his chest, with Toru-san riding his back. 

“I love you, Taka.” The leader huskily whispered.. and the car rocked back and forth under the moon light.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Guys, hahaha sorry for all the cliches and that lame chapter ending hahaha tell me what you think please! X''D This scene will be continued on the next chapter! ;")  
> 


	13. Rendezvous Part II: Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Part 2!  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Warning: So much OC-ness and shallowness and lack of sense and conciseness.  
> 

  
*  
*  
*  
  
“Aaaaahhhh!!! Fuuuck!!!” 

Taka yelled at the top of his lungs but it wasn’t deafening, it’s still music to Toru’s ears as he watched the little vocalist under him, his eyes tightly shut, his right arm wrapped around Toru’s nape, while his left hand was down at the car floor for support. They are now at the back seat, (because the driver seat was getting cramped and the back seat was much spacious anyway) with Toru doing wonders to Taka’s most sensitive, _most private_ area. 

The guitarist felt like he was dreaming, everything feels so surreal, he couldn’t believe that this was allowed to happen.. He didn’t expect Taka to come looking for him, but of course he did want him to. He just thought that the vocalist was busy working on songs so he probably wouldn’t notice that Toru’s gone for a whole day. How lucky he is to wake up with Taka lovingly stares at him? How lucky he is to have this secret _now sacred place_ where the trees huddles around this spot overlooking the LA lights, perfect for a romantic rendezvous. What rights have he done to deserve this moment? 

“S-stay with me, Toru-san..” Taka panted out as he noticed how Toru was deeply thinking of something else while attending to his groin.

Toru immediately obeyed and kissed the vocalist as his hand movement grew quicker. “..m sorry..” he said between kisses. “I just can’t.. believe.. h-how lucky I am.. to be here.. with you.. tonight..”

Taka was surprised, he wanted to say that being sweet with words like that doesn’t suit the guitarist but Toru’s hand was doing such a good job on his dick, that all his mouth can produce was a very erotic “Ahh..!” as he finally released in the leader’s tight grasp. 

*

*

*

Taka woke up to the sound of the rain on the car roof and the smell of a cigarette burning. He gently opened his sleepy eyes only to find himself leaning on the guitarist’s shoulder. They are still at the back seat, but instead of Taka sprawled on the leather seat with Toru above him, they were now sitting side by side, with the leader’s arm wrapped around the vocalist’s waist as he silently smokes a cigar, tapping out the ashes outside the half rolled down window beside him. The car’s engine was off, there’s no air conditioning but Taka didn’t feel a sweat, all 4 windows were half way opened _probably to not suffocate them with Toru-san’s cigars_ and the rain was pouring outside. 

Speaking of sweat.. Taka looked down at his clothes and was surprised to see himself wearing a white tshirt and his pants are now neatly zipped and proper. 

“You’re finally awake.” The guitarist said when he felt the vocalist move. 

Taka slowly sat up straight to stretch his limbs and aching muscles. “How long was I out?” he asked. 

“Almost an hour.” Toru replied with a smirk. “I tired you that much, huh?” He teasingly asked. 

The vocalist madly blushed at that and elbowed the other’s abs. “No you didn’t, I’ve been exhausted since morning from recording demos and worrying about you while you hide away and sulk in here you..you gachapin face!” Taka ranted out throwing a few punches in Toru’s toned arm. 

Toru chuckled at that and threw his stick out the window. “Are you done?” 

Taka crossed his arms and replied. “No, I’m not done. First of all, you smoked inside a car which is super dangerous! What if we suddenly blew up in here huh?”

The guitarist raised a brow on that. “Are you serious?” 

“I’m not done.” Taka cut him off. “Second, you slept inside a car with the engine off, with your window completely rolled down, how stupid are you?! What if somebody comes in here and kidnap you? O-or stab you to death and rob you? And your ipad just displayed there on your dashboard for all the world to see, huh?!” 

The rain grew louder as it poured harder, making a loud noise on the car roof. Toru clicked the button to close the window on his side because the rain started to come in. 

He then faced the flustered vocalist who just finished his ranting. “I’m sorry for making you worry.” The guitarist’ deep voice resonated inside the car. 

Taka couldn’t hide the surprise in his eyes. He’s still getting used to this side of Toru. He’s known him for years and Toru had always been less with his words. He’s almost never expressed any intense emotions _except during performances_ but ever since they started confessing to each other a few months ago, Taka noticed how Toru’s getting vocal with him. It’s not actually a bad thing.. it’s actually a good thing. But.. _Where is this train of thought headed?_ he asked himself. He’s happy to know more about Toru, he’s happy to witness the younger’s evolution, from being the stalker boy filled with dreams, to the insecure guitarist, to the gachapin faced leader, to the man _in love?_ sitting beside him. 

He wrapped his arms around the taller man and he whispered. “I’m sorry for yelling, you idiot.” 

Toru hugged him back and it was the best feeling ever. To be hugged back by the person you hugged and love so much. 

“Look at the mighty emperor apologizing.” Toru teasingly whispered back but regretted it immediately because as soon as Taka heard it, he yanked the guitarist’s blonde locks. 

“Ittai! Stop that, not my hair please, Taka.” He broke out of the embrace to massage his aching scalp.

Taka observed him with a satisfied, _maniacal_ grin on his face. “Everyone says you’re my dog.” 

Toru whipped his head in his direction at that. “What? Nobody says that.” 

“Yes they do. At least, some toruka followers do.” The vocalist defended, remembering the posts he saw the other night wherein he was yanking Toru’s hair during their live performance. 

“Well, I’m not.” Toru huffed. “I’m the leader.” He proudly added. 

Taka find it cute when Toru claims to be the leader. Well, he really is the leader but hearing it again straight from the blonde’s mouth felt nostalgic. It’s been a while since Toru said that. Flashbacks of their younger beginnings fluttered in his mind. Toru and his dreams, their dreams. He initiated everything. If it wasn’t for this handsome man beside him, Taka would not have been here, Taka would probably be rotting in some dark place, or he’d probably wouldn’t have survived. 

“Of course you are the leader, but as you said, I’m the emperor so.. I have the authority over you.” The vocalist said also proud to be winning this conversation. 

“Psshhh..” Toru clicked his tongue in irritation. “You sound like Kuzco.” He said. 

“Kuzco?” Taka asked in confusion. “Who’s Kuzco?” 

Toru widen his eyes (which looked freaky by the way) in exaggeration. “You don’t know that movie?” 

.  
.  
.

“No.”

“Tsk tsk.” The leader quickly lifted himself to reach for his ipad on the dashboard before sitting back beside the vocalist. “You need to watch it now.” 

“Right now?” Taka asked in disbelief. “Don’t you have any plans to go home?” 

Toru quickly scrolled through his list of movies on his ipad. “We’re kind of stranded anyway, the road back is slippery in this weather, we need to wait for the rain to calm down before I can drive us home.” 

Taka sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

*

And so they spent an hour and a half, cuddling inside Toru’s Sedan as they watched “The Emperor’s New Groove” in Toru’s ipad. But not without having a few sweet little arguments here and there. 

First few minutes in the movie and Taka was already complaining. “It’s a cartoon movie? And in English too?” He stated. “I’m tired of English, Toru-san. Come on have mercy on your vocalist, leader-sama!” he whined while trying to appeal to the guitarist’s ego by calling him _”leader-sama.”_ But Toru won’t have any of it. Although he does love it when Taka playfully calls him that, he still wanted to spend his whole evening (hopefully, even just till this day ends) to be with his beloved. The rain was just an excuse. _”Because I can drive anywhere, anytime, in any kind of weather.”_ the guitarist arrogantly supplied his thoughts. 

“You need to practice your english and this is the perfect way to do it.” 

*

The evening was spent with a lot of teasing, pushing, hair pulling, a few kisses here and there. By the time the movie was finished, it was already dawn. The earth was still damped but the rain was long gone, it was replaced by a lighter shade of indigo transitioning to a shade of gray, hinting that the sun will come out soon. 

“Well, I could only say that I liked the bizarreness and the comedy of the story.” Taka said as he leaned on Toru’s shoulder. 

“I told you it’s good. And Kuzco really reminded me of you.” Toru stated, his deep baritone not matching the topic of their conversation. 

“But he was a bad emperor.” The vocalist replied, not wanting to accept that Toru’s comparing him to a bad emperor. 

“Kuzco came around at the end.” The guitarist stated as he stroke the older’s hair. 

“Kuzco became a llama.” Taka deadpanned. 

“Yeah, that’s why he reminds me of you.” Toru innocently declared. 

Taka immediately sat up in indignation. “What?! Are you saying I look like a damn llama?!!!” the vocalist stated, his face literally turning red in anger. 

Toru was swept with panic and regret as he tried to take back what he said. “I-I didn’t say you look like a llama.. you just reminded me of the drawing of a llama.. you know because of your mouth.. and your tee-“ he wasn’t able to finish his explanation because Taka was already attacking him with slaps and punches and screams with something like _”I’m not a llama!!”, “I don’t look like a llama!!”_ something like that. 

Amidst all the yelling and the punches, Toru still can’t imagine himself being anywhere else but right here, right now in this moment. And as the sun rises, they both felt recharged and ready to take on whatever’s coming. They are now fully energized and ready to focus on creating their new album and reaching for their Ambitions.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Dear reader,  
> Please forgive me for all the cringe that I've caused you.  
> Love,  
> Ashe  
> 


End file.
